- welcome ! ; posted 08/07/23
- test entry ; posted 08/07/23
- entry #1 ; posted 08/07/23
- entry #2 ; posted 11/07/23
- entry #3 ; posted 15/07/23
# of entries: 4
first entry: july 8th, 2023
latest entry: july 11th, 2023
hello again :)
hi! its been a couple days since my first entry - ive spent most of the past couple days drawing! so i havent been working on this site, whenever we start drawing we hyperfocus on it pretty hard... but hey! im writing again now!! granted i was already working on this site some more but... yaknow! so far today on my neocities work i revamped my blog page - and im planning to start on either the system page, or make the art and writing pages after i finish this entry! theres so much to do, and i have so many ideas :D
im really glad weve actually successfully been making this site... we tried to make a site like a year ago, but it just did NOT work out for us... this is going so much better :) im having a lot of fun with it too!! the problem solving of it is really fun, and its honestly making me think more about possibly going into tech stuff as a job in the future? but i also worry it would just lose any fun it has if i did. who knows! for right now im having fun, and i can just tuck that thought in my back pocket for now :) i dont need to worry about jobs yet :p
though! speaking of jobs! we are actually waiting to hear back from a job we applied to recently - they said theyd get in contact with people on the 12th so! very exciting! its at the local library, which is only a couple blocks away from our house, and the schedule would be literally perfect for us!! were really excited about it honestly... job stuff is always so scary for us with our agoraphobia, but with this job at least it would be a quiet environment! which i think would be especially good for us :)
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in other things ! we had our first appointment with our new dentist today! which was... incredibly nerve-wracking and anxiety inducing... but its ok! we survived! AND the dentist office had a DOG!!! who was incredibly sweet, and whose name i no longer remember :( all the people there were super nice, and it actually didnt really feel like i was being judged for my poor dental hygiene! which is always something we feel bad about whenever were at the dentist. plus they were just generally very accomadating to us! we have to go back in october to get some fillings done, so hopefully that goes well too!
last night we were super anxious about the whole dentist thing so we were up way later than we shouldve been (we probably only got about 3 hours of sleep) and oh boy im starting to feel the sleepy catching up to me :( cmon man i still have so much i wanna do today!!
OH THAT REMINDS ME - i started making myself a fursona yesterday !! like a personal, just mine fursona instead of a collective/system one! which has been really fun - but also kinda tricky cause it has been awhile since weve drawn a lot of furries, so anything with anatomy ive been struggling with :/ i do think i got it down though!! good enough for me at least :)
BUT my fursona !! shes a weasel, very fluffy though ! kinda like an angora ferret but. weasel. angora weasel i guess! his names isolde, which is one of my other names :3, and xy uses xy/xyr and she/he!! so basically my pronouns but idk xy just doesnt strike me as a vae? idk!! hes very cool i think :3 i still need to finish her ref but when i do ill definitely put xyr on our art page!! the next step is colours, and i was gonna do that earlier but then brain was like NO i wanna work on the webbed site. so im here instead !! ill probably work on that more after i finish working on this for today :) if i still have energy that is pff, hopefully the sleepy wont hit me too hard! hopefully working will keep me up!
oh yeah alsos! i finally actually figured out my personal gender yesterday - as well as i finally figured out my other names! one part of my gender is very much feeling like both a man and a woman simultaneously, so since ive been around i wanted a more fem name to go along with remy - since remy feels pretty masc to me! i ended up settling on niamh(said neeve) and isolde, but then my name was unbalanced so i had to find ANOTHER masc name to add on. so finally ive got a solid set of names - remy/remington, niamh, isolde, and finnegan !! all of which feel very genderfucky to me :3
genderwise, i settled on andernova, which means my gender is a mix of androgynous, outherine, and xenine! (outherine being a gender quality unrelated to masculinity, femininity, androgyny, or neutral - yet also not exactly xenine)
and in more words, and more confusingly, im both a man and a woman, both of them binary but not the "standard" binary - though simultaneously im disconnected from the binary entirely, though im not nonbinary necessarily either. im both in the middle of and completely outside of the binary. it feels, in a way, like im another, new, binary placement. its also not at all a human gender, and its just mine i think. my genders just a weird little paradox !!
yaknow speaking of identity things, i ALSO ended up figuring out im weaselkin through figuring out the species for my fursona !! im just a silly little guy wholl get into the walls of a house and make a ruckus :3
identity stuff is fun. we collectively really like being able to label things and feelings, so having new labels and stuff makes my brain very :D !
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i think this is gonna be all from me for today!! thank you for reading, if anyone is reading all this :) i hope youre having a good day!! im gonna go work on this site some more :)
i also have actually been listening to music today so i CAN give a song of the day today!! i feel like im getting back into the groove of keeping a journal :)
in the mall in the nighttime /
you came back alone with a flashlight /
(wen gnihton fo trats eht saw ti) /
and it was my favorite scene /
i couldnt tell you what it means /
but it meant something to me
beach life-in-death by car seat headrest
--- remy (xy/vae/she/he)
